


in my heart's a memory, and there you'll always be

by eberbae (dustyjournal)



Series: alter!verse [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Animal Transformation, Canon Compliant, Golden Retriever!Taylor, M/M, The Trade, fox!Ryan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 17:40:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10881735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustyjournal/pseuds/eberbae
Summary: There's a lot that they should probably say. A lot they should figure out. But that can wait for now.





	in my heart's a memory, and there you'll always be

**Author's Note:**

> Context: This takes place in a world where everyone has an "alter" - an animal counterpart. Shifting from one form to another takes a little longer and involves something called the "crossover", which is when the human takes on more and more behaviours/characteristics of their alter. Changing is common, but also sort of taboo because there's an intimacy/vulnerability behind it.
> 
> Jordan is the only person known to not have an alter, but he can communicate with the animal counterparts well. He can even reason with them (sometimes).
> 
> I think that's about all you need to know. Oh yes, and this series will likely be a series of one-shots like this, though full stories are a possibility.

The thing about anticipating something that you are also dreading is that there’s no actual sense of relief when it happens. The dread simply deepens, scoops out what’s left of your insides until you’re well and truly hollow.

Not like Jordan would share this, verbalize it. He’s not the one being traded. He’s not the one who has to leave.

But Taylor is. Taylor’s leaving. It doesn’t even matter that Ryan or Jordan might be shipped out next. It just matters that they’re not going to be able to wake up every day curled around each other, not going to go spend lazy weekends together, not going to put on those blue and orange sweaters on together anymore.

Jordan has to be able to pull Taylor out of this, Ryan too. He knows just what to do, so without another thought he gets up off the couch that they’re all sitting at, staring at the blank TV, and claps his hand together.

“Let’s go,” Jordan declares.

Ryan looks up, looking stunned. Taylor just keeps looking straight ahead, eyes lost.

“Now.” Jordan doesn’t wait for a reply, to help either of them up. He just grabs his wallet, keys, phone, sunglasses. That’s enough.

He holds back a sigh of relief when he hears Ryan and Taylor following. They don’t grab anything, they don’t need to.

Jordan locks the door to the apartment. Then he puts a steadying hand on both of his boys’ backs, leading them to the parkade.

\--

Their clearing on the sunny side of the River Valley is very much their own. Jordan can make sure no other alters walk in on them, and it’s too urbanized for natural animals to walk in on them. He’s thankful for his ability to communicate with the alters, for this especially.

It had taken longer than Jordan thought to get Taylor and Ryan out of Jordan’s SUV. They had both begun the crossover during the drive, so they had been as close as they could be given their seatbelts: Taylor nuzzling into Ryan’s neck, Ryan’s eyes darting around as if he needs to keep Taylor away from harm.

Even with Jordan’s ability to know what they need, want, he can’t always coax them into doing what _he_ wants. Especially when they’re fuzzy, between their two forms. But he had gotten them there with the promise of warm sun and room to run.

So now Jordan’s lying on his back, hoodie pillowed underneath his head so he can look at the clear, blue sky.

Edmonton has beautiful skies. He hopes New Jersey has nice skies, for Taylor.

He gets a little lost in the trees and sky, and doesn’t immediately sense the dog running towards him. Once he does, it’s too late, and Taylor in his golden retriever form is bounding on top of him.

“Tay!” Jordan exclaims, laughing and wheezing as he tries to wrestle Taylor’s dense body off of him. “Get off me!”

He doesn’t really mean it, and Taylor knows it. They start wrestling for position, but Taylor has the upper hand because his claws are fucking _sharp_ and make Jordan pull away. There’s no true winner or loser when they wrestle; it’s more like aggressive cuddling anyway.

Taylor ends up pinning Jordan on his back and starts licking Jordan’s face incessantly, tail wagging as Jordan tries to squirm away. He’s laughing too hard to put any real heart in it, though.

He catches a break when he reaches back and is able to grab the tennis ball that he had hidden in the sleeve of his hoodie. It effectively distracts Taylor from licking Jordan’s face, and he tracks the ball as Jordan winds up and throws it.

It doesn’t go too far, but it sails into the bushes and Taylor pounces into the deep green shrubbery. His tail is all Jordan can see and the sight makes Jordan’s heart swell with happiness. This also gives Jordan enough time to track Ryan, who is likely much more difficult to locate.

Jordan starts too look for hints of reddish-orange body and a black and white bushy tail, the two most noticeable things that Ryan, as a fox, has. He thinks he sees he sees some red across the clearing and starts to walk towards it, but then he hears some startled barking and turns to see that Ryan has surprise-jumped onto Taylor’s back.

Jordan watches Taylor chase Ryan out of the brush, tennis ball in his mouth. Taylor loves that damn tennis ball almost as he loves chasing Ryan, almost as much as Jordan loves watching the two of them play.

Ryan is so quick, so nimble, and he runs circles around Taylor. Taylor barks happily each time he gets close to catching him. Ryan jumps on Taylor’s back and flips around to hit him in the face with his tail, and Jordan can’t help but laugh. Jordan settles back down in the grass to watch. At one point, Taylor drops the ball and Ryan picks it up, barely able to keep it in his much smaller mouth before he deposits on Jordan’s lap and hides behind Jordan’s back.

“I think he can see you, Nuge,” Jordan stage-whispers as Taylor comes sprinting towards them.

It appears to be a trap for Jordan, though, because all of a sudden Ryan darts away and Taylor is jumping onto Jordan’s chest _again,_ effectively knocking Jordan onto his back. Ryan boops Jordan’s temple with his nose as Taylor settles into a much more comfortable position, body on the grass and head on Jordan’s chest. Jordan takes a long breath once he finally stops laughing.

It’s almost too easy for the three of them to settle down. Ryan is uncharacteristically cuddly, settling on Jordan’s outstretched arm, fluffy tail stretched across Jordan’s chest to tuck under Taylor’s face. Jordan half-expects Ryan to go back to his usual fox ways of hiding in the bushes and only coming out to nip at Jordan and Taylor’s ankles, but he doesn’t.

Jordan takes a deep breath, and Taylor huffs his own.

Sometimes, when they do this, Jordan will just talk until Taylor and Ryan are snoozing, cuddled so close to him that the even chill of the night doesn’t really hit him. But he really doesn’t feel like talking right now, and he can tell that Taylor and Ryan just want to...be.

And that’s the thing, really. It’s so easy to just be with them. To let the world fade out, to synchronize their breathing and let contentedness flow through him. He can tell the same sort of relaxation is slowly working its way through Taylor, even more slowly Ryan, but it is, and that’s what matters.

For right now, the world can wait. Right now, Jordan’s going to stay cuddled up with the two men whom he loves more than anything else in this world. Right now, he’s going to look at the beautiful blue sky, and think about absolutely nothing else.

**Author's Note:**

> I've headcanoned just about every Oilers' alter (with some help), so if you want to come yell about animal transformation with me you can find me at [eberbae](http://eberbae.tumblr.com) :D
> 
> I appreciate any and all feedback as well!


End file.
